Have you ever found yourself repeating the same unhelpful behaviors, even when you know better? Starting strong, then pulling back. Getting close to a goal, then somehow undoing your progress. Wanting change — genuinely wanting it — and still finding yourself stuck in the same loop.
This is self-sabotage. And it has nothing to do with weakness, laziness, or lack of motivation.
In 2022, I joined Jo on the Midlife & Beyond Conversations Podcast to talk about exactly this — why self-sabotage happens, and more importantly, how to break the patterns without relying on willpower alone.
Why Willpower Isn’t the Answer:
Most approaches to self-sabotage focus on the surface: set better goals, build better habits, try harder. And for a while, that can work. But if the underlying belief driving the behavior lives in your subconscious, willpower is just fighting against yourself.
The subconscious mind is where our core beliefs about who we are and what we deserve are stored. When those beliefs conflict with our conscious goals — “I want to be successful” vs. a deep belief that “I don’t deserve it” — the subconscious wins. Every time.
What Actually Works:
In the episode I shared how approaches like RTT, hypnotherapy, and NLP work at the subconscious level to identify and reprogram the limiting beliefs driving self-sabotage. Rather than white-knuckling your way through change, we work with the mind instead of against it.
This is especially relevant for people in midlife — a time when patterns that have been running in the background for decades suddenly become impossible to ignore. The good news is that midlife is also when many people have done enough personal work to be genuinely ready for this kind of deeper change.
The Midlife Opportunity:
There’s something powerful that happens when you hit midlife and realize the old strategies aren’t working anymore. That frustration — that “I’ve tried everything” feeling — is actually a doorway. It means you’re ready to go deeper than the surface-level fixes.
If you’ve been stuck in patterns of self-sabotage and you’re tired of trying to think or willpower your way out, this episode is for you.
Listen to the Full Episode:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-sabotage-with-jacqueline-connors-ma/id1474021683?i=1000580999189
If this resonates with you, let’s talk. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation and let’s explore what’s really driving your patterns — and how to change them at the root. Because life does not wait, nor should you.
JACQUELINE CONNORS, MA, LMFT
Is a licensed psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, Master NLP Practitioner, and RTT Practitioner with more than 18 years of experience working with individuals and couples in Napa, CA and throughout California online. She specializes in anxiety, emotional disconnection, and subconscious pattern work — for people who have already done the work and are ready to go deeper.
